Invincible Summer

by NJG

Friday, January 30, 2009

Friday Night List

As you can see, I really like to party on Friday nights.
I present to you a ranty list of four.





1.FACT:
Making a graphic novel is actually painfully slow.
In case you were wondering.
PAINFULLY SLOW.




2. REVIEW:
Amy's Quarter Pound Veggie Burger

This is the only fake burger that I will currently allow in my home.
Other ones are too fake-beefy and leave me feeling like I have a gross little brick in the bottom of my stomach.
The Quarter Pounder, however, packs a whopping 21 grams of protein, and tastes like a homemade veggie burger from an excellent restaurant.
Some of the ingredients include:
Organic walnuts, mushrooms, potatoes,carrots, and more.
Contains Wheat, Soy and Walnuts.
A box of four will cost you $6.00, but i promise they are worth a try.
I had this today with fried onions and a smear of fake cheese.





3. FACT:
Westbrae Natural Mellow Miso
soup
only has one gram of protein.
Actually, it has a little "less than" sign next to the words 1gram.
What? Why? Isn't it made of fermented soy beans?
I'm so confused.





4. REVIEW:
Lakeview Terrace

I blocked from my mind that I'd seen this movie In The Theater (why? why ? why?) until last night at the video store its giant poster visage jolted me back into the memory of my darkened seat with waves of anger and irritation washing over me.
I exclaimed to the clerk
"The Movie Was SO TERRIBLE."
he didn't seem to care and said
"that only makes me want to see it more."
I said
"no, it wasn't bad in the way you wanted it to be. it was bad in a really unsatisfying, truly horrible way."
bah.


Here's my review:


This is the movie in which Samuel L. Jackson is the neighbor of a biracial couple who move in next door. He is not into biracial pairings, apparently, and so gets more and more annoying and aggro until finally he tries to frame the husband and then hires a thug to fuck up their house, in the process of which the thug happens upon the wife and tries to fuck her up instead.
Booooooooooo.
Some feedback:
- No one in this movie is very likeable. I am not actually rooting for the white guy at any point in time because he is an annoying dork and has no redeemable qualities that can fool me into believing someone would marry him, ESPECIALLY marry him in the face of her family's disapproval (also part of the plot. sort of.). The person in the movie who married him is semi likable, but not enough to save the movie, and again she is TOO likable for us to believe that she married this dude.

- Gratuitous almost-rape scene was really unecessary and tasteless.

- The racial themes are also tasteless. I'm not sure if the director had a clear point he was trying to make with this, but in essence it ends up with you (in theory) sympathizing with the poor innocent white dude while SLJ gets treated like an animal and shot full of holes by the police. No Thanks!

-Question: Will Samuel L. Jackson be in ANY MOVIE? Like, any movie at all?

1 comment:

j a m i e said...

oh, i second your amy's review. those are delicious.